Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-31 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-31

I am not supported in my Divorce - WHY NOT?

While studying for my Thanatology degree, I was also preparing for my divorce. At the time, I didn’t fully grasp the depth of grief that would come with it. Despite having been detaching emotionally for a while, the reality of my grief didn’t hit me until I reflected on my own divorce story, often during long, emotional walks with my dog, tears streaming down my cheeks. These walks became my sanctuary, a time to process and understand the heavy emotions I was carrying.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-17 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-17

Designed to Fail: How the Family Court System Silences Grieving Mothers

A Legacy of Quiet Rage

When I was growing up, my mother spent years going in and out of family court with my father, who was high-conflict. There were affidavits, court orders, motions and a trial, but never once did anyone ask how it felt when my mother didn’t speak to her daughter for more than a decade. Or how much it costs financially or the mental and emotional toll it took on my mother. No judge questioned what that estrangement meant to us. No professional named it for what it was: a profound loss.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-03 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-03-03

Why Confidence Often Drops After Divorce, Even When You Wanted It

I remember lying in bed a year and a half before my divorce, thinking, I can’t even get a part-time job at the local variety store. I was once well educated, with a degree and a post-grad diploma, yet I felt completely worthless. My confidence had been eroded for years and years, and I did not even realize it.

Many factors influence confidence after divorce, but what’s interesting is how rarely we talk about this side of it. The divorce world often highlights freedom, fresh starts, and empowerment. And while those things can be true, there’s another side that doesn’t get enough space: the quiet collapse of confidence that so many people experience, even when they were the ones who initiated the divorce.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-24 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-24

Divorce, Grief, and the Overthinking Loop: How to Calm Your Brain After 'Life Theft’

Have you ever caught yourself replaying the same conversation with your ex, or reliving the moment you got the call that someone you love was gone?

For years after my mother's sudden death, I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. I’d go over it again and again. If you’re grieving a divorce, it might be the moment your ex said, “I want a divorce,” or the moment you said it. You analyze what went wrong, revisiting every scene like a movie stuck on repeat.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-17 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-17

When Your Child Picks Up a “Flea”: Traits Learned from a Narcissistic Parent

I was attending a training on narcissism when the psychologist said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Children who grow up around a narcissistic parent can sometimes pick up a few fleas.”

She explained that “fleas” are the coping traits children develop after living in a toxic or self-absorbed environment. It doesn’t mean they become narcissists, far from it, but they may carry behaviors they learned to survive.

It’s understandable that the odd “flea” might show up in your children, too; they spend time with that parent and naturally pick up some behaviors. But it’s rarely intentional; it’s usually just a reflection of the environment they’ve had to adapt to.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-10 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-10

Worry vs. Curiosity: A Small Shift That Changes Everything During Divorce

I used to think worrying was just part of being a responsible adult. If I wasn’t constantly turning things over in my head, I worried that I was… well, not worrying enough. Looking back, I can admit I was a little neurotic, but at the time, it felt like I was just being prepared, responsible, alert. I would love to say I am not a “worrier” anymore I still am but, I am a work in progress just like many and trying to use curiosity to help.

During my divorce, that inner voice got louder, a constant stream of "what ifs" running through my mind:

What if I can’t survive financially?
What if the kids don’t adjust?
What about my beloved dog and cat?
I have no idea what I’m doing.

This kind of worry is exactly what res

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-03 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-02-03

Divorce Conflict Resolution: Proven Strategies for a Smoother Separation

The Reality of Leaving

When I finally left my abusive and toxic marriage, after five attempts, I had no idea what divorce truly looked like. My parents had separated in the 1970s, and because it was a high-conflict divorce, I knew firsthand what it felt like as a child. However, experiencing it as an adult and a parent was a different world entirely.

At first, my ex reassured me: “I’m not going to have a divorce like my sisters, full of conflict.” I was naive enough to believe him. I thought we could have an amicable divorce, unaware that:

Truly amicable divorces account for only about 10% of cases.
The remaining 90% involve some level of conflict.
Divorce is, at its core, the negotiation and breaking of a legally binding contract.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-27 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-27

"I'm So Angry at My Ex": Why It Happens and How to Manage Divorce Anger

We are closing out the final week of January, a month often called "Divorce Month" because of the spike in filings and the end of holiday truces. If you entered this year hoping for a "fresh start" but find yourself feeling more consumed by rage than peace, you are not alone. The reality of high-conflict divorce can quickly derail New Year’s resolutions.

A month after I left my toxic marriage, I found myself sitting in my car, screaming at my ex on my cell phone. I was so done. with the marriage, with everything I’d endured. Did this outburst help the separation process? Not at all. Did he deserve my anger? Absolutely.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-20 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-20

Breaking Free from Emotional Overdependence: 6 Steps to Self-Reliance After Divorce

I remember the uncertainty and fear that crept in after my marriage ended. How would I manage on my own with two children after nearly two decades of shared life? Though I wasn’t overly dependent on my ex for emotional support, our lives were deeply intertwined, and his presence had always been a constant. The prospect of untangling those ties felt overwhelming. For some, this is the deepest fear.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-13 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-13

Why I Stayed So Long in a Toxic Marriage,and What Finally Made Me Leave

As a mother of two young adults, I often find myself deeply contemplating the choices that led me to endure my toxic marriage for almost two decades. Having grown up in a high-conflict divorced family, I convinced myself that I could manage the complexities of staying in a deeply challenging relationship. I was determined not to repeat the past. I feared my children might experience the same chaos I lived through, and because of that fear, I poured endless energy into “making it work.”

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-08 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-08

The Truth About Divorce Anger: Why Common Coping Strategies Backfire

Divorce anger is tough—it fuels battles over money, custody, and communication, often driven by fear, grief, and frustration. When you feel powerless over the situation, anger can take over, making it harder to move forward.

So, what do most of us do? We vent to friends and family, hoping to "get it off our chest," or we throw ourselves into intense workouts, believing we can sweat out the rage. But research suggests these common coping strategies might not actually help—and could even make anger worse.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-07 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-07

How to Handle Boundary Testing from a High-Conflict Ex After Divorce

There’s plenty of advice about the importance of boundaries during divorce. For many, setting firm limits is essential to moving forward. But what’s not always discussed is how some exes will continue to test those boundaries—sometimes long after the divorce is finalized.

Divorce isn’t just a legal process; it’s an emotional and psychological shift that requires redefining your relationship with your ex. While some expect pushback during separation, many don’t realize how persistently a high-conflict ex may challenge boundaries. Even those who recognize their ex’s controlling tendencies may be caught off guard by how relentless these behaviors can be. High-conflict personalities often escalate their actions to maintain influence.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-06 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2026-01-06

Why “Sitting Still” Is the Smartest First Step in Divorce

As a mother of two young adults, I often find myself deeply contemplating the choices that led me to endure my toxic marriage for almost two decades. Having grown up in a high-conflict divorced family, I convinced myself that I could manage the complexities of staying in a deeply challenging relationship. I was determined not to repeat the past. I feared my children might experience the same chaos I lived through, and because of that fear, I poured endless energy into “making it work.”

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-12-09 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-12-09

Grief After Divorce: Why the Holidays Hurt and What Actually Helps

You can be functioning, coping, even doing “okay”… and then December arrives. Suddenly, old memories, family images, and rituals echo through your body whether you want them to or not.

I’ve worked in the grief field for years, and there is something about the holiday season that brings a very particular kind of heaviness. Whether the loss is through death or divorce, December has a way of stirring emotions that stay quiet the rest of the year. In my support groups, people often began expressing holiday anxiety as early as October. The dread wasn’t imagined; it was embodied.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-11-25 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-11-25

Co-Parenting During the Holidays: How to Manage Anxiety When You Have to See Your Ex

I remember the first holiday season after our separation, and boy, was I nervous. My eldest was performing with her band at a beautiful venue, and I was truly looking forward to it. But my body? It was telling a completely different story. I was a bundle of nerves—tight chest, fidgety hands, that unsettled feeling sitting right under my ribs.

It wasn’t the concert that made me anxious. I knew my ex would be there. Knowing I’d have to stand in the same room, smile, and act composed while my insides were doing somersaults.

From the moment the divorce begins, many parents find themselves living on what I call the Front Stage—the place where you’re expected to stay composed, cooperative, and steady for your children, even when inside you’re dealing with heartbreak, anger, or survival-level stress. The holidays make these moments even more emotionally loaded because traditions, memories, and expectations are already heightened.

Have you ever had to put on a brave face and play nice with your ex in public? It’s like starring in a soap opera—or for some, winning an Oscar—just without the fame or fortune. Co-parenting throws you into situations where you must keep your cool for your children’s sake, even when every part of you is screaming otherwise.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-11-11 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-11-11

They’ll Be Fine”: Why Saying “Kids Are Resilient” After Divorce Isn’t the Whole Truth

I went to a social worker as a teenager for over two years. And yes, it helped. I could finally talk about the horrendous things that happened to me growing up. But the truth? We only scratched the surface. The deeper wounds stayed buried.

As a child of a high-conflict divorce, I didn’t realize how much the instability and constant tension were shaping me. On the outside, I appeared to be fine. Inside, I was surviving.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-10-28 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-10-28

Regret After Divorce: Understanding and Navigating the Emotional Struggles

I remember sitting in my therapist’s office, saying, "I don’t want any regrets. Maybe if we try couples therapy, I’ll know I did everything I could." At the time, it felt like the right thing to do—one last attempt to fix what was broken. But I didn’t realize then that I was with someone who would never take responsibility, someone who twisted every issue into being my fault. Even in therapy, when the counselor gently pointed out something he needed to address, he immediately turned it back on me.

I had hoped therapy would work, not just for myself, but for the years I had invested in this marriage and for the sake of our children. But looking back, I see things differently. Knowing what I know now, I can see it never would have worked.

Have you ever wondered, "Am I going to regret getting a divorce?" or "I regret I ever got married?" If so, you’re not alone. These thoughts often surface during the emotional and mental fallout of ending a marriage. Divorce can bring up intense feelings of grief and regret, but understanding why you feel this way and how to process those emotions can help you move forward with clarity and peace.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-10-14 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-10-14

Hardship or Manipulation? The Child Support Loophole No One Talks About

When my ex claimed “financial hardship” to reduce or not pay his child support payments, I was shocked, but not entirely surprised. For years, he earned a six-figure income in retail. Then, during our separation, his story changed. He said he could no longer afford to contribute.

He cited his heart attack, valid for a bit, but years later. He mentioned having to repay a loan. He said he was grieving the loss of his mother. And while I don't doubt some of that was true, I also heard, through others, that he had recently traveled to Europe, was regularly playing golf, bought 2 e-bikes, and brought home a large dog with significant upkeep costs.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-09-30 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-09-30

When You’re the One Who Does Everything: The Housework Divide That Breaks Marriages

The reason I decided to write this blog was a recent long-term study out of the University of Alberta that followed 520 people from their mid-twenties to age 50. It found that the housework divide, the unequal distribution of chores, barely changed over time. I was angry and frustrated. I had hoped things would have improved. But the study found that women carried more of the load at 25, and still carried it at 50.

Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-09-16 Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT 2025-09-16

Why It Only Feels Good 10% of the Time: The Truth About Toxic Relationships

Have you ever found yourself clinging to the few good moments in your relationship, the smiles, the intimacy, the laughter, while ignoring the long stretches of silence, tension, or emotional pain?

You’re not alone. Many people in emotionally abusive or toxic relationships describe their experience as “walking on eggshells,” unsure what mood they’ll come home to, constantly trying to avoid setting off a reaction.

And yet... they stay. Like I did.

Why? Because when it’s good, it’s really good. It’s the 10% that feels like sunshine after a storm. The make-up sex. The flowers. The apology. The “I miss you.” The vacation photo where you both look happy. It’s that sliver of time that keeps hope alive.

But what about the other 90%?

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