Divorceworkshop Blog
Co-Parenting During the Holidays: How to Manage Anxiety When You Have to See Your Ex
I remember the first holiday season after our separation, and boy, was I nervous. My eldest was performing with her band at a beautiful venue, and I was truly looking forward to it. But my body? It was telling a completely different story. I was a bundle of nerves—tight chest, fidgety hands, that unsettled feeling sitting right under my ribs.
It wasn’t the concert that made me anxious. I knew my ex would be there. Knowing I’d have to stand in the same room, smile, and act composed while my insides were doing somersaults.
From the moment the divorce begins, many parents find themselves living on what I call the Front Stage—the place where you’re expected to stay composed, cooperative, and steady for your children, even when inside you’re dealing with heartbreak, anger, or survival-level stress. The holidays make these moments even more emotionally loaded because traditions, memories, and expectations are already heightened.
Have you ever had to put on a brave face and play nice with your ex in public? It’s like starring in a soap opera—or for some, winning an Oscar—just without the fame or fortune. Co-parenting throws you into situations where you must keep your cool for your children’s sake, even when every part of you is screaming otherwise.
The Unseen Lifeline: How Siblings Help Each Other Through Divorce
Watching my daughters navigate our divorce together has been one of the most unexpectedly powerful parts of this journey. They lean on each other, confide in each other, and instinctively offer comfort in ways that even I can’t always provide. I remember one day, when an issue came up with their co-parent, they didn’t come to me right away. Instead, they met quietly in one of their bedrooms to talk. I didn’t listen in, but I remember thinking: this is powerful. As teenagers, they understood the value of facing difficult moments as a team.
It made me realize something I hadn’t fully understood before: siblings can be an incredible source of strength during divorce.
Co-Parenting During the Holidays: Managing Grief, Stress, and Family Dynamics
The holiday season is here—a time of joy, reflection, and, for many, emotional challenges. If you're navigating co-parenting during a divorce, this time of year can amplify both the good and the hard. It’s a season filled with festive events, family gatherings, and traditions—but also with moments that might feel bittersweet or even overwhelming.
Have you ever had to put on a brave face and play nice with your ex in public? It can feel like starring in a soap opera or winning an Oscar—minus the fame or fortune. However, that’s exactly what co-parenting often is: a balancing act of emotions where you have to keep your cool for your children’s sake.
Transactional Coparenting: A Practical Path Forward
The complexities of coparenting necessitate a range of styles which means that coparenting dynamics are as varied as the parents themselves. While each circumstance is unique, a few common strategies emerge. These strategies hinge on an essential characteristic of coparenting - the level of cooperation parents can effectively manage. These strategies significantly impact how people who are parenting from separate homes interact and function.
This article explores one such approach: transactional coparenting. This method prioritizes practicality and logistics over connection and mutual support. An understanding of the characteristics of transactional coparenting can help equip coparents with tools to establish a functional routine and effective relationship amidst the disruption of separation.