Divorceworkshop Blog

Has the Stigma of Divorce Really Changed Since the 1970s?
Divorcing, people pleasing, Stigma, Recoverying from divorce, Alone Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT Divorcing, people pleasing, Stigma, Recoverying from divorce, Alone Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

Has the Stigma of Divorce Really Changed Since the 1970s?

Studies have said more than half or those divorcing believes there is stigma to getting a divorce. We feel this way because our beliefs and standards were put there by others not by ourselves. Think of it this way: we are raised by society to be winners, study, get a good job, good partner and become good moms and dads. When we get a divorce that means our life just exploded and we are viewed differently and we do not feel like we are winners anymore.

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The Medusa Moment: Why People-Pleasers Experience Sudden Explosive Rage
divorcing, people pleasing, fawning, generational trauma Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT divorcing, people pleasing, fawning, generational trauma Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

The Medusa Moment: Why People-Pleasers Experience Sudden Explosive Rage

How appeasing became our family heirloom, and why stopping the cycle is the greatest gift we can give our daughters.

For a long time, I thought appeasing people was just part of who I was—a mix of kindness, empathy, or simply a desire to keep the peace. It took decades for me to start figuring myself out, and lately, watching my own daughters' behaviors, to realize the truth: appeasement isn't a personality trait. It’s an inherited survival mechanism.

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Exhausted by Peacekeeping? Breaking the Cycle of Chronic People Pleasing
divorcing a narcissist, divorce recovery, people pleasing, fawning Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT divorcing a narcissist, divorce recovery, people pleasing, fawning Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

Exhausted by Peacekeeping? Breaking the Cycle of Chronic People Pleasing

The Hook: The 911 Call to the Tribe

I remember sitting in my youngest daughter’s room, hunched over her small desk. It was the only place in the house I felt safe to speak; my ex-mother-in-law lived in the basement, and I lived in constant fear of her hearing my conversations.

This was about two months before I finally left. My phone was trembling in my hand as I dialed my older sister’s number. My heart wasn't just racing; it was hammering against my ribs like I was running for my life.

I didn't call her for legal advice. I didn't call her for a shoulder to cry on. I called her to ask a question that reveals the terrifying core of the fawn response:

"Would you be embarrassed if I got a divorce?"

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How People-Pleasing Impacts Your Divorce: Breaking Free from the Cycle
people pleasing, divorcing, separated Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT people pleasing, divorcing, separated Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

How People-Pleasing Impacts Your Divorce: Breaking Free from the Cycle

I’ve always been a people-pleaser, and even now, I still struggle with it. Looking back on my marriage, I realize how much it wore me down. I became burnt out, resentful, and just wanted out of the toxic and abusive relationship.

Interestingly, my people-pleasing didn’t stop after I left. During the long, drawn-out separation and divorce, I kept falling into the same patterns—saying "yes" when I wanted to say "no." Learning to say no was challenging. Many of you might relate to this experience.

Even after my marriage ended, I found myself helping him move out—cleaning, organizing, and still walking on eggshells to avoid confrontation. One moment stands out: a few months post-separation, he asked me to buy chocolates for his mother’s birthday since he wouldn’t be available. Despite the years of mistreatment from both him and his mother, I agreed. Afterward, I was furious with myself. That was the turning point when I realized something had to change.

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