Divorceworkshop Blog
Divorce Conflict Resolution: Proven Strategies for a Smoother Separation
The Reality of Leaving
When I finally left my abusive and toxic marriage, after five attempts, I had no idea what divorce truly looked like. My parents had separated in the 1970s, and because it was a high-conflict divorce, I knew firsthand what it felt like as a child. However, experiencing it as an adult and a parent was a different world entirely.
At first, my ex reassured me: “I’m not going to have a divorce like my sisters, full of conflict.” I was naive enough to believe him. I thought we could have an amicable divorce, unaware that:
Truly amicable divorces account for only about 10% of cases.
The remaining 90% involve some level of conflict.
Divorce is, at its core, the negotiation and breaking of a legally binding contract.
How to Build a Strong Divorce Support System: 4 Essential Pillars
Divorce is one of the most challenging transitions a person can face, often upending every aspect of life. As someone who has spent years studying and working in the field of thanatology—the science of death, dying, and grief—I’ve seen firsthand how vital a solid support system is during times of profound change. Divorce is the death of a relationship that is often complex and messy and requires tools and strategies to help navigate the emotional, logistical, and practical challenges it brings.
Why So Many Divorces Happen After the Holidays—Including Mine
At the time, I didn’t fully understand why we often hold on through the holidays, even when a relationship is falling apart. Reflecting on my own experience, I stayed for my children. I wanted to give them one last holiday as a family, even though the tension in the air was undeniable.
Many people face the same pressure: the desire to maintain the appearance of a happy family, the hope for a holiday miracle, or simply the wish to avoid adding more pain to an already emotional season.
I’ve since learned this is a common experience. Countless men and women have shared stories of waiting until after the holidays to finally say, “I’m done.” The holiday season, while joyous for some, often magnifies dissatisfaction and exposes the cracks in a marriage, making them impossible to ignore.