Divorceworkshop Blog
The Emerging Trend of Mediation in Divorce
For generations, litigation was the only choice, with the potential to turn every divorce into a courtroom spectacle. Litigation is inherently adversarial, and the costs alone are exorbitant. However, against this backdrop of tradition, change is slowly sweeping across continents with the introduction of family mediation as a compelling alternative. The surging popularity of mediation is bringing about significant changes in how divorces are managed. These changes go beyond financial matters; they are fundamentally reshaping the entire landscape of divorce proceedings.
Finding Holiday Joy after Divorce: Navigating Your First Holidays
The initial Christmas following a divorce can be an incredibly tough and solitary journey. Reflecting on my own experience, I can still recall the deluge of overwhelming anxiety and complex emotions that enveloped me as I anticipated my first Christmas post-separation. Questions swirled in my mind. How would I spend some of the holidays without my children? How would my family respond to my new separated status? Adjusting to this significant change in my holiday dynamics brought forth a multitude of feelings, leaving me with a blend of apprehension and uncertainty.
Creating a Post-Divorce Financial Roadmap
Divorce is a significant life transition that brings both emotional and financial challenges. As you navigate the complexities of ending a marriage, one essential aspect is to create a financial road map for life after divorce. This road map can help you regain control of your financial well-being and set the foundation for a secure future. In this blog post, we'll explore the steps to construct a post-divorce financial road map that empowers you to thrive independently
Broken Bonds: Navigating Parental Alienation - One Father's Tale
Little did I know that the true challenges lay ahead and the post-divorce abuse that was to come, as I encountered the grief-ridden experience of being alienated from my youngest son. As the first year passed after the separation, the signs of parental alienation became increasingly evident. My youngest son's withdrawal and abrupt silence shattered me, as our once-strong bond disintegrated before my eyes. It felt like an invisible barrier had been erected, leaving me adrift and ill-equipped to navigate this challenging situation. Confusion consumed me as I struggled to understand the reasons behind his sudden withdrawal and how to respond. This experience caught me off guard, and I was completely unaware and unprepared for this type of thing. Sadly, I had no idea that this could actually happen, and tragically, it is more common than I initially recognized
How To Prevent The Fizz in Your Marriage From Fizzling After Baby
As a divorce attorney, I spent over 30 years asking clients what happened in their relationship to bring them to my office. Many times, no matter how much they thought they loved each other, introducing a baby who requires 24/7 attention into the relationship caused turbulence between the partners and took a toll on their well-being.
I was used as my Parents messenger in their Divorce
As someone who has been through a divorce, I believe it's crucial for those exploring or going through this challenging journey to understand what it feels like to be a child of divorce. Often, children become the forgotten ones amidst the turmoil, stress, and uncertainty of divorce. As a divorced person myself, I have viewed the lens in both sets of eyes. Both are difficult, and I understand how hard it can be to balance being a good parent while navigating the complexities of divorce. However, it is the child that needs to be thought of the most.
Divorce and Halloween: Tips for a Smooth and Joyful Celebration
For many children, including my own, Halloween is not just another day—it's a BIG deal! My children talk about Halloween just as much as they do about Christmas. The adventures of Halloween start at a young age, as they excitedly don their cute little outfits and embark on a journey of spooky fun. Or as they grow older, they start having real involvement in choosing their Halloween costumes for the year. As families, we cherish the special Halloween traditions and routines we've built over the years, maybe we hosted or attended annual Halloween parties or went out with a group of friends or loved ones. However, all of this changes when divorce enters the picture, and suddenly, Halloween can become a bit tricky to navigate. The significance of this cherished occasion in our children's lives demands that we prioritize their happiness and ensure they have a magical Halloween without any unnecessary tension-filled moments.
The Pros and Cons of a Nesting Parenting Plan
Sometimes, finding the right balance of parenting time can be difficult for divorcing parents. Keeping the kids in the family home is vital for countless parents.
You may feel that the matrimonial home is the only home the children have known. You may think that keeping your kids in the family home is in the children's best interest because it will provide the most stability during this time of drastic changes.
The Resilience of Love: Embracing Remarriage After Divorce
As human beings, we are wired for attachment, including romantic love. So, when I recently came across statistics revealing that many individuals tend to remarry after divorce, I wasn't entirely surprised.
While we are well aware of the high divorce rates for second and third marriages, it seems that this doesn't deter a significant number of women (52%) and men (64%) from taking that leap of faith once again. This newfound understanding was intriguing, as it shed light on the unwavering belief in the institution of marriage, even after experiencing the challenges of divorce.
Navigating Divorce: Establishing Effective Boundaries
Among the many hurdles that arise during this process is learning to establish and maintain clear boundaries with your ex. Failing to set boundaries can give rise to various problems such as your personal well-being and personal space, remaining co-dependant on your ex, may complicate the financial situations and it can cause difficulties in co-parenting. By understanding these challenges, we can explore strategies to overcome them and foster a healthier and more empowering
Facing the Ostrich Syndrome: Confronting the Realities of Divorce
Divorce is undoubtedly a challenging journey, filled with various difficulties that can be overwhelming to navigate. It's common for individuals to exhibit what is known as the Ostrich Syndrome - the tendency to avoid confronting the problems associated with the dissolution of a marriage. This avoidance can have detrimental effects within the context of divorce, leading to missed opportunities and increased stress.
Journey Through Seasons: Co-Parenting Lessons from a Child of Divorce
As a child from a divorced family, I've had the unique opportunity to experience both the joys and challenges of being co-parented during both the summer and the school year. My parent’s divorce was nothing but combative in nature and that stayed that way a quite a long time. My journey offers some insights that I hope can shed light on the perspective of a child in such circumstances.
Spotting Narcissistic Red Flags in Post-Divorce Dating:
However, for those of us who have endured a tough and abusive marriage, the thought of attracting someone with similar traits to our ex-spouse is a genuine concern and downright scary.
When I ventured into the world of online dating after my divorce, I approached it with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. Having endured years of abuse from my ex, it took me a while to wake up to the fact that he possessed strong narcissistic traits.
Say Goodbye to Paralysis by Analysis: Overcoming Divorce Indecision and Embracing a Brighter Tomorrow
Here are some common things that can get in the way, hindering or delaying the process:
1. Emotional attachment to your spouse, memories, or the life you built together can make it difficult to initiate or proceed with a divorce. Fear of loneliness, guilt, or the desire to salvage the relationship can create emotional barriers.
2. Financial considerations often play a significant role in divorce. Concerns about dividing assets, debts, and financial stability post-divorce can create uncertainty and hesitation. Financial dependence on the spouse or fear of financial hardship can impede progress.
Men and women divorce differently
Have you ever heard of the book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"? This best-selling book explored the fundamental differences between men and women in relationships. Interestingly, but not really surprising that these differences can also manifest during the challenging process of divorce.
No Child Support
I have not received any child support or help for extra child expenses for my two daughters in over 4 years. Is this a common problem in North America? It seems so. In Canada, only 59% of single-parent households who were owed child support actually received the full amount they were owed. This means that about 40%, including myself, do not receive the financial support that we are “legally entitled to”. In the United States, it is even worse, where only 44 % of primary parents who are owed child support received the full amount they were due.
Pet Custody in Divorce
Interestingly, we are hearing about this more because according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, over a quarter of respondents reported an increase in disputes over pet ownership and care in the past five years. That's right, more than 1 in 4 divorce cases now involves a heated battle over who gets the family pet. With the majority of North American households owning a cat or dog, about 58% of people in Canada and the USA it is 67%. It's no surprise that pets are often viewed as cherished members of the family
Narcissist -Am I Divorcing one? - Part 3 Things you can do
There are numerous essential factors to consider when divorcing a person who is high on the spectrum of narcissism. The traits of individuals high on the narcissist spectrum can make the divorce process especially challenging,
Self-Compassion in dealing with “The Holiday Blues”
Many people look forward to the Easter Holidays. But for many, this holiday brings into focus a feeling that their life is not how they pictured it. It may be their job, bank account, or, often, it’s their relationship.
Narcissist -Am I Divorcing one? Part 2
Co-parenting with a Narcissist can be extremely challenging, some will try to use their children to try still to control you, they may withhold or play games with the parenting schedule or try to turn the children against you.
Parental Alienation is more common when the person is high on the narcissist spectrum. They will tell the children that their other parent is not safe, unlovable, and unavailable. People who alienate tend to find it hard to accept that their children may benefit from the other parent.
They may financially abuse you, not pay child support, and make up fake section 7 expenses such as saying the child is in college but they are working. They also may hide assets to make less money than they normally would do.