Divorceworkshop Blog
Narcissist - Am I Divorcing one? Part 1
I knew in my own marriage that something was off with my ex. He had erratic moods, used manipulation, told lies, was codependent with his mother, mean at times, blaming, financially abusive, neglectful and a master at projecting. I remember saying to him “you could have three affairs and you would twist it all around to be my fault” and he laughed and said “yes”.
50 years later Divorce Stigma is still here
Studies have said more than half or those divorcing believes there is stigma to getting a divorce. We feel this way because our beliefs and standards were put there by others not by ourselves. Think of it this way: we are raised by society to be winners, study, get a good job, good partner and become good moms and dads. When we get a divorce that means our life just exploded and we are viewed differently and we do not feel like we are winners anymore.
Divorce is…Grief!
Some changes in our lives can bring feelings of grief and in the thanatology world, we call these non-death losses. In this blog I want to talk about Divorce, which is a significant loss. Recent research has suggested that going through a divorce can be more difficult to adjust to than the death of a spouse (D.Harris, 2020). People are very surprised when that is mentioned because how could that possibly be, of course a death is much harder! As a thanatologist I know that the death of a close attachment is one of the toughest experiences you will ever go through. However, to have the view that divorce was a choice between the couple (some are) and that there is not a great amount of pain felt is not accurate. A very close attached relationship has died...but they are still alive. We may need to see them, yearn for that attachment even if unhealthy, communicate with them or have unfortunate run ins while out.
Valentine’s Day and Divorce
Valentine’s Day; the most romantic day of the year. Some love it, some hate it…when you are getting a divorce Valentine’s day takes on a different feeling