The most anxiety-driven thing about going through a divorce is how will you survive financially. The best thing to do is to not put your head in the sand about money. You need to learn and dive deep into your finances. Make a good solid budget and if needed get some professional help. This can help you in the negotiation process because you will know what you have and what you need to survive.

That is completely normal to feel this way. Many parents worry about their children. How well you adjust to the divorce will also indicate how your children will do. If you can remain child-focused throughout the divorce, your children will fare much better.

Look for a family-orientated lawyer who thinks long-term and puts you and your children first. Make sure you have a good connection with your lawyer and remember they work for you. It is also beneficial if you can consult with a few lawyers and see which one connects with you best.

New research indicates that if parents adjust well to co-parenting so will the children. It is important to note that two peaceful homes are better than one toxic home.

The first question you have to ask yourself is can I afford to keep the matrimonial home? Will you qualify for a mortgage? If buying out the matrimonial home will leave your house broken is it worth it? Secondly, you have to think of the emotional impact on yourself, this is a home full of memories, for some that is comforting for others a fresh start is the way to go. When you separate the matrimonial may have to be sold. It will either be sold on an open market or one of you will buy the other out.

Every family is different and what their needs are as well. The legal system wants you to both have equal time with your children and it has been proven to be the best for them. However, It may be best to think about your children not by just percentages but by what is best for them. It is not really about what is fair for you or fair for your ex but what is best for the children.

Many go to lawyers right away because that is what society has told us to do. It is the most common way to get a divorce. However, it is not necessary to hire a lawyer. There are alternatives to litigation that are much cheaper and may suit you and your ex better. One of the best first steps is to discuss the different divorce options available with your spouse. There are 4 basic options available and are listed in order of cost and time required: DIY, Mediation, Collaborative, and Litigation.

No, you can stay legally separated and never get a divorce for as long as you want. However, separated means you are not living as a married couple anymore. A divorce decree is needed if you would like to remarry.

Divorce mediation is a process where a neutral mediator helps couples resolve issues like asset division and custody without going to court. Many states and countries are now starting with mediation because it’s often faster, cheaper, and less stressful than litigation. It allows couples to have more control over the outcome and promotes collaboration, which is especially helpful when children are involved. While it’s not suitable for all situations, such as cases of abuse or extreme conflict, it can be an effective way to navigate divorce.

Telling your children about the divorce together is important. Being honest with them and talking to them in their developmental age-appropriate way. You do not want to oversay things or be too brief. Allow them to ask questions and reassure them that they do not have to worry about anything and that it is mom and dad who will figure this out. For older kids, you can say what you would like and we will try our best to accommodate that if possible. Use the word divorce as well when you are talking to the children, they must start understanding that mom or dad are not just moving away.

For most, it can be years in the making to decide to leave your marriage. And for many, you may have been detaching from your spouse for years. This is not an easy decision especially if it involves children. As well, there are many reasons why you may want to get a divorce. This is a good opportunity to talk with a coach, therapist, or good friends.

This is called litigation fatigue: and you may ask “Why is this taking so long.” For some getting a divorce will take longer than you expected. There will be gap months where nothing is done. in your case. It also depends on your ex, as it takes 2 to make agreements, and those change along the way. A lot of issues come up with parenting and the strong emotions involved with getting a divorce.

It's common to feel like you've failed or even feel embarrassed when going through a divorce. Many people ask themselves, "What could I have done differently?" These feelings can be especially challenging because they often stem from deeply ingrained beliefs about what success and failure look like in relationships. If we were raised with the idea that marriage is forever, divorce can feel like we’ve let ourselves or others down. The loss of your idea of who you are, as well as the uncertainty of your future, can trigger these thoughts. There’s also the guilt of breaking up a family.

However, it’s important to recognize that feeling this way is normal, but it's not a reflection of your worth. Divorce isn't a failure on your part—it’s the end of a relationship that no longer worked. Relationships are complex, and sometimes despite our best efforts, they don’t evolve in ways that align with our personal growth or happiness. Divorce doesn’t define you; it’s simply part of your journey toward a new chapter.

Getting a divorce is the second most stressful event in one’s life after the death of a loved one. It is no wonder why you may be feeling sad, angry, lonely full of anxiety and guilt to name a few. It is completely normal to have such confusing and messy emotions when you are going through a divorce.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is rare, affecting 0.5% to 6% of the population. However, narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, and someone doesn’t need a diagnosis to exhibit harmful behavior. Stress from divorce can also make anyone seem self-centered. Reflect on your marriage—was this behavior consistent throughout, or is it new? If their actions undermine your well-being or the divorce process, focus on protecting yourself with boundaries, support, and professional guidance rather than the label.

When a marriage with a High Conflict ends either you ended it or they did they tend to behave predictably terribly. They cannot take any blame or responsibility for the ending of the marriage. They will vilify you saying you are all bad but they are all good. They will stop at nothing to get back at you.

They will try to punish you in all areas of your life in a divorce. Their abusive behaviors will be more pronounced than they were in the marriage.

In divorce, many will want everything from marriage, money, children, pets, and things that matter most to you such as sentimental things. They may try to turn your friends and family against you. And remember they lack any real empathy.

Also, most do not want a swift end to this divorce.

Divorcing a high-conflict personality can be emotionally exhausting. They often use tactics like FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt) to manipulate and maintain control. Expect escalated conflict, smear campaigns, and boundary violations. They may exploit the legal system or spread lies to gain an advantage.

To cope, document everything, set clear boundaries, stick to fact-based communication, and seek support from a therapist or lawyer experienced in high-conflict divorces. Stay focused on protecting your well-being and minimizing their impact on your future

Narcissists thrive on drama, conflict, and attention. During divorce, they may seek admiration and sympathy from anyone involved—your lawyer, their lawyer, friends, and family. Understanding this helps you stay focused, avoid unnecessary engagement, and protect your emotional well-being by minimizing their "supply."

The best approach is to minimize communication as much as possible. If no contact isn’t an option, especially for parenting, keep interactions brief, business-like, and focused solely on logistics. Avoid engaging with emotional rants, threats, or manipulative tactics. This limits their ability to provoke or control you and helps starve them of the drama and attention they crave. Use written communication tools, like co-parenting apps, to maintain clear boundaries and documentation.

High-conflict individuals often use their lawyers as a tool to create drama, drive up costs, and exhaust you emotionally. They may manipulate even their lawyer to fuel their need for control and attention, prolonging the process unnecessarily. To protect yourself, work with a lawyer experienced in high-conflict cases, focus on facts, and avoid engaging in their provocations. Clear boundaries and a strategic approach can help minimize their ability to escalate the situation.

Yes, it’s highly recommended, but it depends on who you're divorcing. Are they honest, fair, or manipulative? Knowing who you're dealing with is key. In our workbook Just Separated, we have an exercise to help you figure out who you're divorcing. If your spouse exhibits high conflict traits, finding a lawyer experienced with high-conflict personalities is essential. While mediation may work in some cases, some high conflicts often use it to manipulate or control the process. A skilled lawyer or a highly conflict-trained mediator who has worked with these individuals will know how to handle their tactics and protect your interests.