Divorceworkshop Blog
6 Ways Uncontrolled Emotions Can Cost You in Your Divorce
Divorce is a journey filled with peaks and valleys, twists and turns, and emotions that often run high. As I reflect on my own divorce journey, vivid memories flood my mind, moments brimming with intense feelings that seemed to overwhelm every aspect of my life.
One particular memory stands out. About a month after we separated, I received a phone call from my ex. Words were exchanged, and in a moment of sheer frustration and anger, I found myself screaming into the phone like a wild animal. I had suppressed years of emotions, and it all erupted to the surface at once.
Unfortunately, instead of a resolution, my outburst only fueled further conflict.
Information Mimics Safety: The Trap of Trying to 'Figure the Narcissist Out’
It took me a long time to figure out who I was married to and even longer on why I was obsessed with researching it.
Interestingly, towards the end of the marriage I knew something was not right with him because I bought the book Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of Our Age by Dr. George Simon. This book is about how society faces a rise in people who lack accountability, manipulate others, and exploit social rules without guilt, and a widespread lack of character. I placed it on the kitchen island, assuming he would look at the cover. He saw it, and he just kind of laughed.
To this day, I am not entirely sure why I did that. It was as if I could somehow ‘teach’ him that something was wrong, I had been trying to teach him for years and I was hoping a final lightbulb would finally go off with him. He picked it up and said is this for me and slightly laughed it off and put it back down on the table.
When Your Child Picks Up a “Flea”: Traits Learned from a Narcissistic Parent
I was attending a training on narcissism when the psychologist said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“Children who grow up around a narcissistic parent can sometimes pick up a few fleas.”
She explained that “fleas” are the coping traits children develop after living in a toxic or self-absorbed environment. It doesn’t mean they become narcissists, far from it, but they may carry behaviors they learned to survive.
It’s understandable that the odd “flea” might show up in your children, too; they spend time with that parent and naturally pick up some behaviors. But it’s rarely intentional; it’s usually just a reflection of the environment they’ve had to adapt to.
"I'm So Angry at My Ex": Why It Happens and How to Manage Divorce Anger
We are closing out the final week of January, a month often called "Divorce Month" because of the spike in filings and the end of holiday truces. If you entered this year hoping for a "fresh start" but find yourself feeling more consumed by rage than peace, you are not alone. The reality of high-conflict divorce can quickly derail New Year’s resolutions.
A month after I left my toxic marriage, I found myself sitting in my car, screaming at my ex on my cell phone. I was so done. with the marriage, with everything I’d endured. Did this outburst help the separation process? Not at all. Did he deserve my anger? Absolutely.