Divorceworkshop Blog
How People-Pleasing Impacts Your Divorce: Breaking Free from the Cycle
I’ve always been a people-pleaser, and even now, I still struggle with it. Looking back on my marriage, I realize how much it wore me down. I became burnt out, resentful, and just wanted out of the toxic and abusive relationship.
Interestingly, my people-pleasing didn’t stop after I left. During the long, drawn-out separation and divorce, I kept falling into the same patterns—saying "yes" when I wanted to say "no." Learning to say no was challenging. Many of you might relate to this experience.
Even after my marriage ended, I found myself helping him move out—cleaning, organizing, and still walking on eggshells to avoid confrontation. One moment stands out: a few months post-separation, he asked me to buy chocolates for his mother’s birthday since he wouldn’t be available. Despite the years of mistreatment from both him and his mother, I agreed. Afterward, I was furious with myself. That was the turning point when I realized something had to change.
Why do I feel Lonely after my Divorce
Loneliness is a common and often daunting experience for many going through divorce. Society's support can be lacking, and sharing these feelings with friends and family may not always provide the understanding we hope for. I recall trying to talk to my family about my emotions during this time; they cared, but their lives continued unchanged. Even though I had sought relief from an abusive marriage and felt a sense of liberation, there were still moments when I felt profoundly alone. As a grief specialist, I understand the complex emotions of grieving the loss of a partner. Feeling relief and rebuilding one's life can be an isolating journey.