Divorceworkshop Blog
Divorce Conflict Resolution: Proven Strategies for a Smoother Separation
The Reality of Leaving
When I finally left my abusive and toxic marriage, after five attempts, I had no idea what divorce truly looked like. My parents had separated in the 1970s, and because it was a high-conflict divorce, I knew firsthand what it felt like as a child. However, experiencing it as an adult and a parent was a different world entirely.
At first, my ex reassured me: “I’m not going to have a divorce like my sisters, full of conflict.” I was naive enough to believe him. I thought we could have an amicable divorce, unaware that:
Truly amicable divorces account for only about 10% of cases.
The remaining 90% involve some level of conflict.
Divorce is, at its core, the negotiation and breaking of a legally binding contract.
Understanding DARVO: How Manipulators Shift Blame in Toxic Relationships
For over 19 years, I endured a relationship filled with manipulation and emotional turmoil. At the time, I couldn’t fully grasp what was happening—the subtle, persistent tactics left me questioning my reality and constantly doubting myself. Only much later after I separated, did I discover DARVO, a tactic used by many highconflict personalities and emotional abusers, and things started to make sense. Suppose I had known about DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) earlier. In that case, I might have recognized the signs and understood how this tactic impacted my sense of self and experiences.
Understanding DARVO has helped me—and my clients and I hope it can help you—see through the confusion created by these toxic dynamics and take steps toward a healthier, more empowered life.
What is DARVO and Where Did It Originate?