Divorceworkshop Blog

divorcing, people pleasing, fawning, generational trauma Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT divorcing, people pleasing, fawning, generational trauma Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

The Medusa Moment: Why People-Pleasers Experience Sudden Explosive Rage

How appeasing became our family heirloom, and why stopping the cycle is the greatest gift we can give our daughters.

For a long time, I thought appeasing people was just part of who I was—a mix of kindness, empathy, or simply a desire to keep the peace. It took decades for me to start figuring myself out, and lately, watching my own daughters' behaviors, to realize the truth: appeasement isn't a personality trait. It’s an inherited survival mechanism.

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divorcing a narcissist, divorce recovery, people pleasing, fawning Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT divorcing a narcissist, divorce recovery, people pleasing, fawning Karen Omand, B.A Soc, B.A Than, CT

Exhausted by Peacekeeping? Breaking the Cycle of Chronic People Pleasing

The Hook: The 911 Call to the Tribe

I remember sitting in my youngest daughter’s room, hunched over her small desk. It was the only place in the house I felt safe to speak; my ex-mother-in-law lived in the basement, and I lived in constant fear of her hearing my conversations.

This was about two months before I finally left. My phone was trembling in my hand as I dialed my older sister’s number. My heart wasn't just racing; it was hammering against my ribs like I was running for my life.

I didn't call her for legal advice. I didn't call her for a shoulder to cry on. I called her to ask a question that reveals the terrifying core of the fawn response:

"Would you be embarrassed if I got a divorce?"

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