Divorceworkshop Blog
Co-Parenting During the Holidays: How to Manage Anxiety When You Have to See Your Ex
I remember the first holiday season after our separation, and boy, was I nervous. My eldest was performing with her band at a beautiful venue, and I was truly looking forward to it. But my body? It was telling a completely different story. I was a bundle of nerves—tight chest, fidgety hands, that unsettled feeling sitting right under my ribs.
It wasn’t the concert that made me anxious. I knew my ex would be there. Knowing I’d have to stand in the same room, smile, and act composed while my insides were doing somersaults.
From the moment the divorce begins, many parents find themselves living on what I call the Front Stage—the place where you’re expected to stay composed, cooperative, and steady for your children, even when inside you’re dealing with heartbreak, anger, or survival-level stress. The holidays make these moments even more emotionally loaded because traditions, memories, and expectations are already heightened.
Have you ever had to put on a brave face and play nice with your ex in public? It’s like starring in a soap opera—or for some, winning an Oscar—just without the fame or fortune. Co-parenting throws you into situations where you must keep your cool for your children’s sake, even when every part of you is screaming otherwise.
They’ll Be Fine”: Why Saying “Kids Are Resilient” After Divorce Isn’t the Whole Truth
I went to a social worker as a teenager for over two years. And yes, it helped. I could finally talk about the horrendous things that happened to me growing up. But the truth? We only scratched the surface. The deeper wounds stayed buried.
As a child of a high-conflict divorce, I didn’t realize how much the instability and constant tension were shaping me. On the outside, I appeared to be fine. Inside, I was surviving.