Information Mimics Safety: The Trap of Trying to 'Figure the Narcissist Out’

It took me a long time to figure out who I was married to and even longer on why I was obsessed with researching it. 

Interestingly, towards the end of the marriage I knew something was not right with him because I bought the book Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of Our Age by Dr. George Simon. This book is about how society faces a rise in people who lack accountability, manipulate others, and exploit social rules without guilt, and a widespread lack of character.  I placed it on the kitchen island, assuming he would look at the cover. He saw it, and he just kind of laughed.

To this day, I am not entirely sure why I did that. It was as if I could somehow ‘teach’ him that something was wrong, I had been trying to teach him for years and I was hoping a final lightbulb would finally go off with him.  He picked it up and said is this for me and slightly laughed it off and put it back down on the table.