I recall the first few months following our separation. A profound sense of relief, anxiety, and grief washed over me as I finally broke free from this nearly 2-decade grueling marriage. Yet, with this newfound freedom, there was at times, a lingering urge to chat with him, and at times it persisted. I would, over the years, turn to him in moments of great stress. About four months after our separation, I encountered a scam phone call that left me shaken. This incident remains clear in my memory: a fraudulent call from the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), threatening legal repercussions about my taxes. They got me worked up and scared as I was never involved with taxes. I got off the phone, and in a moment of panic, I instinctively reached for the phone and called him. However, the harsh reality soon dawned on me—he was no longer that person. It was an instinctual thing that I had done for many years regardless of the type of support I got back. Despite enduring 19 tumultuous years together, the dissolution of our marriage left me unsettled. What I did not know back then that I do know is I was losing my secure base and safe haven, even if it was not that strong of one.